|
|
Building Harmony Like A Pyramid,
Block After Block.
In spite of a difficult youth deprived of love, Sergeď M. radiated a true joy of life. His young wife, Katya, had just given birth to their first child. Their projects were becoming reality; their home was welcoming and each of them had a suitable and fine job.
Only one bleak point in this smiling future: Sergeď suffered from severe dental diseases; a long treatment was needed.
Thus, for some months, I regularly saw this cheerful man for his dental care. He soon became a friend and took me as a confidant.
Behind his optimistic glance and attitude, I had since a while perceived some tension: Sergeď had never suspected what exactly
a 'life as a couple' means, - especially with a baby. Without the love of affectionate parents, how could he have ever learnt that?
And school neither teaches us how to build a lasting love relationship, to respect our soulmate, to communicate with them, to understand them, to listen to them...
- « How can we have forgotten that slight taste of honey, the simple, deep happiness we had when we began our relationship? »,
he asked me. « Imagine how sunny and full of joy our life could be without such tension or stress between us every day! »
- « Your dream is easy to reach, you know. », I had replied. « Extraordinary things are not needed to get extraordinary results.
You actually CAN live your dream! The two of you just should begin by focusing on three points:
* to clearly establish your priorities;
* to make some choices and hold on to them;
* to let know your own limits as well as your expectations. »
Our exchanges turned out to be constructive. You see, like so many loving couples, Sergeď and Katya underwent daily life's pressure without succeeding in 'recharging their batteries'. Stress at work, nights disturbed by the baby, domestic chores, unforeseen expenses...:
the atmosphere at home was sometimes stormy. Overloaded by usual material concerns, they hardly spoke about anything else;
hence their exchanges had lost interest. Shared good moments became rare; so was their intimacy. Their mood was gloomy.
Soon, however, going through his treatment, Sergeď felt relieved, finding his smile again (and rediscovering the pleasure of a good sirloin steak). But, above all, Katya and him were surprised by the progressive change they both felt in their life as a couple; they were imperceptibly rediscovering harmony in their relationship, feeling again relaxed and deeply in love.
How?? What had happened? Longer baby's nights? Well, no... It simply seemed to result from applying some solutions coming out of our conversations...
As time goes on, friendly exchanges like this were more frequent: numerous patients feeling disappointed, helpless or at a loss, found some comfort by sharing their
concerns. These contacts, offering a very large sample of real life situations, led to the gathering of the information you are about to discover.